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1	LOOSE CHANGE Andrea Levy First published in ‘ The Independent on Sunday ’
2	I AM NOT IN THE HABIT of making friends of strangers . I 'm a Londoner . Not even little grey_-_haired old ladies passing comment on the weather can shame a response from me .
3	I 'm a Londoner - aloof sweats from my pores . But I was in a_bit of a predicament ; my period was two days early and I was caught unprepared . I 'd just gone into the National Portrait Gallery to get out_of the cold .
4	It had begun to feel , as I 'd walked through the bleak streets , like acid was being thrown at my exposed skin . My fingers were numb , searching in my purse for change for the tampon machine ; I barely felt the pull of the zip . But I did n't have any coins .
5	I was forced to ask in a loud voice in this small lavatory , ‘ Has anyone got three twenty_-_pence pieces ? ’ Everyone seemed to leave the place at_once - all of them Londoners I was sure of it .
6	Only she was left - fixing her hair in the mirror . ‘ Do you have change ? ’ She turned round slowly as I held out a ten_-_pound note .
7	She had the most spectacular eyebrows . I could see the lines of black hair , like magnetised iron filings , tumbling across her eyes and almost joining above her nose . I must have been staring to recall them so clearly . She had wide black eyes and a round face with such a solid jaw line that she looked to have taken a gentle whack from Tom and Jerry 's cartoon frying pan .
8	She dug into the pocket of her jacket and pulled out a bulging handful of money . It was coppers mostly . Some of it tinkled on to the floor . But she had change : too much - I did n't want a bag full of the stuff myself .
9	‘ Have you a five_-_pound note as_well ? ’ I asked . She dropped the coins on_to the basin area , spreading them out into the soapy puddles of water that were lying there . Then she said , ‘ You look ? ’ She had an accent but I could n't tell then where it was from ; I thought maybe Spain . ‘ Is this all you 've got ? ’ I asked . She nodded .
10	‘ Well , look , let me just take this now ... ’
11	I picked three damp coins out_of the pile . ‘ Then I 'll get some change in the shop and pay them back to you . ’
12	Her gaze was as keen as a cat with string .
13	‘ Do you understand ?
14	Only I do n't want all those coins . ’
15	‘ Yes , ’ she said softly .
16	I was grateful .
17	I took the money .
18	But when I emerged from the cubicle the girl and her handful of change were gone . I found her again staring at the portrait of Darcy Bussell . Her head was inclining from one side to the other as_if the painting were a dress she might soon try on for size . I approached her about the money but she just said , ‘ This is good picture . ’ Was it my explanation left dangling or the fact that she liked the dreadful painting that caused my mouth to gape ?
19	‘ Really , you like it ? ’ I said .
20	‘ She does n't look real .
21	It looks like ...
22	’ Her eyelids fluttered sleepily as she searched for the right word , ‘ a dream . ’ That particular picture always reminded me of the doodles girls drew in their rough books at school . ‘ You do n't like ? ’ she asked .
23	I shrugged .
24	‘ You show me one you like , ’ she said . As I mentioned before , I 'm not in the habit of making friends of strangers , but there was something about this girl . Her eyes were encircled with dark shadows so_that even when she smiled - introducing herself cheerfully as Laylor - they remained as mournful as a glum kid at a party . I took this fraternisation as defeat but I had to introduce her to a better portrait .
25	Alan Bennett with his mysterious little brown bag did n't impress her at_all . She preferred the photograph of Beckham . Germaine Greer made her top lip curl and as_for A._S. Byatt , she laughed out loud , ‘ This is child make this ? ’
26	We were almost making a scene .
27	Laylor could n't keep her voice down and people were beginning to watch us .
28	I wanted to be released from my obligation .
29	‘ Look , let me buy us both a cup of tea , ’ I said . ‘ Then I can give you back your money . ’
30	She brought out her handful of change again as we sat down at a table - eagerly passing it across to me to take some for the tea . ‘ No , I 'll get this , ’ I said . Her money jangled like a win on a slot machine as she tipped it back into her pocket .
31	When I got back with the tea , I pushed over the twenty_-_pences I owed her . She began playing with them on the tabletop - pushing one around the other two in a figure of eight . Suddenly she leant towards me as_if there were a conspiracy between us and said , ‘ I like art . ’ With that announcement a light briefly came on in those dull eyes to reveal that she was no more than eighteen .
32	A student perhaps .
33	‘ Where are you from ? ’ I asked .
34	‘ Uzbekistan , ’ she said .
35	Was that the Balkans ?
36	I was n't sure .
37	‘ Where is that ? ’
38	She licked her finger , then with great concentration drew an outline on_to the tabletop . ‘ This is Uzbekistan , ’ she said . She licked her finger again to carefully plop a wet dot on_to the map saying , ‘ And I come from here - Tashkent .
39	‘ And where is all this ? ’ I said , indicating the area around the little map with its slowly evaporating borders and town .
40	She screwed up her face as_if to say nowhere .
41	‘ Are you on holiday ? ’ I asked .
42	She nodded .
43	‘ How long are you here for ? ’
44	Leaning her elbows on the table she took a sip of her tea . ‘ Ehh , it is bitter ! ’ she shouted . ‘ Put some sugar in it , ’ I said , pushing the sugar sachets toward her . She was reluctant , ‘ Is for free ? ’ she asked .
45	‘ Yes , take one . ’
46	The sugar spilled as she clumsily opened the packet . I laughed it off but she , with the focus of a prayer , put her cup up_to the edge of the table and swept the sugar into it with the side of her hand .
47	The rest of the detritus that was on the tabletop fell into the tea as_well .
48	Some crumbs , a tiny scrap of paper and a curly black hair floated on the surface of her drink . I felt sick as she put the cup back to her mouth .
49	‘ Pour that one away , I 'll get you another one . ’
50	Just as I said that a young boy arrived at our table and stood , legs astride , before her . He pushed down the hood on his padded coat . His head was curious - flat as a cardboard cut_-_out - with hair stuck to his sweaty forehead in black curlicues . And his face was as doggedly determined as two fists raised .
51	They began talking in whatever language it was they spoke .
52	Laylor 's tone pleading - the boy 's aggrieved . Laylor took the money from her pocket and held it up to him . She slapped his hand away when he tried to wrest all the coins from her palm . Then , as abruptly as he had appeared , he left . Laylor called something after him . Everyone turned to stare at her , except the boy , who just carried on .
53	‘ Who was that ? ’
54	With the teacup resting on her lip , she said , ‘ My brother .
55	He want to know where we sleep tonight . ’
56	‘ Oh , yes , where 's that ? ’
57	I was rummaging through the contents of my bag for a tissue , so it was casually asked .
58	‘ It 's square we have slept before . ’
59	‘ Which hotel is it ? ’
60	I thought of the Russell Hotel , that was on a square with uniformed attendants , bed turning_-_down facilities , old_-_world style .
61	She was picking the curly black hair off her tongue when she said , ‘ No hotel , just the square . ’ It was then I began to notice things I had not seen before : dirt under each of her chipped fingernails , the collar of her blouse crumpled and unironed , a tiny cut on her cheek , a fringe that looked to have been cut with blunt nail_-_clippers .
62	I found a tissue and used it to wipe my sweating palms .
63	‘ How do you mean just in the square ? ’
64	‘ We sleep out in the square , ’ she said . It was so simple she spread her hands to suggest the lie of her bed . She nodded .
65	‘ Tonight ? ’
66	The memory of the bitter cold still tingled at my fingertips as I said , ‘ Why ? ’
67	It took her no more than two breaths to tell me the story . She and her brother had had to leave their country , Uzbekistan , when their parents , who were journalists , were arrested . It was arranged very quickly - friends of their parents acquired passports for them and put them on_to a plane . They had been in England for three days but they knew no one here .
68	This country was just a safe place .
69	Now all the money they had could be lifted in the palm of a hand to a stranger in a toilet .
70	So they were sleeping rough - in the shelter of a square , covered in blankets , on top of some cardboard .
71	At the next table a woman was complaining loudly that there was too much froth on her coffee . Her companion was relating the miserable tale of her daughter 's attempt to get into publishing .
72	What did they think about the strange girl sitting opposite me ?
73	Nothing .
74	Only I knew what a menacing place Laylor 's world had become . She 'd lost a tooth . I noticed the ugly gap when she smiled at me saying , ‘ I love London . ’ She had sought me out - sifted me from the crowd . This young woman was desperate for help . She 'd even cunningly made me obliged to her .
75	‘ I have picture of Tower Bridge at home on wall although I have not seen yet . ’
76	But why me ?
77	I had my son to think of .
78	Why pick on a single mother with a young son ?
79	We have n't got the time .
80	Those two women at the next table , with their matching hand bags and shoes , they did nothing but lunch .
81	Why had n't she approached them instead ? ‘ From little girl , I always want to see it ... ’ she went on . I did n't know anything about people in her situation . Did n't they have to go somewhere ?
82	Croydon , was it ?
83	Could n't she have gone to the police ?
84	Or some charity ?
85	My life was hard enough without this stranger tramping through it .
86	She smelt of mildewed washing . Imagine her dragging that awful stink into my kitchen . Cupping her filthy hands round my bone china . Smearing my white linen . Her big face with its pantomime eyebrows leering over my son . Slumping on_to my sofa and kicking off her muddy boots as she yanked me down into her particular hell . How would I ever get rid of her ?
87	‘ You know where is Tower Bridge ? ’
88	Perhaps there was something tender_-_hearted in my face . When my grandma first came to England from the Caribbean she lived through days as lonely and cold as an open grave . The story she told all her grandchildren was about the stranger who woke her while she was sleeping in a doorway and offered her a warm bed for the night .
89	It was this act of benevolence that kept my grandmother alive .
90	She was convinced of it .
91	Her Good Samaritan . ‘ Is something wrong ? ’ the girl asked . Now my grandmother talks with passion about scrounging refugees ; those asylum seekers who ca n't even speak the language , storming the country and making it difficult for her and everyone else . ‘ Last week ... ’ she began , her voice quivering , ‘ I was in home . ’ This was embarrassing .
92	I could n't turn the other way , the girl was staring straight_at me .
93	‘ This day , Friday , ’ she went on , ‘ I cooked fish for my mother and brother . ’
94	The whites of her eyes were becoming soft and pink ; she was going to cry .
95	‘ This day Friday I am here in London , ’ she said .
96	‘ And I worry I will not see my mother again . ’
97	Only a savage would turn away when it was merely kindness that was needed . I resolved to help her . I had three warm bedrooms , one of them empty .
98	I would make her dinner .
99	Fried chicken or maybe poached fish in wine .
100	I would run her a bath filled with bubbles .
101	Wrap her in thick towels heated on a rail .
102	I would then hunt out some warm clothes and after I had put my son to bed I would make her cocoa .
103	We would sit and talk .
104	I would let her tell me all that she had been through . Wipe her tears and assure her that she was now safe . I would phone a colleague from school and ask him for advice .
105	Then in the morning I would take Laylor to wherever she needed to go .
106	And before we said goodbye I would press my phone number into her hand . All Laylor 's grandchildren would know my name .
107	Her nose was running with snot .
108	She pulled down the sleeve of her jacket to drag it across her face and said , ‘ I must find my brother . ’ I did n't have any more tissues . I 'll get you something to wipe your nose , ’ I said . I got up from the table . She watched me , frowning ; the tiny hairs of her eyebrows locking together like Velcro .
109	I walked to the counter where serviettes were lying in a neat pile .
110	I picked up four .
111	Then standing straight I walked on .
112	Not back to Laylor but up the stairs to the exit .
113	I pushed through the revolving doors and threw myself into the cold .
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